If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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