am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
