Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
