WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
