I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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