Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
