so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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