There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
