You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
