Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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