her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
