FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
