your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
