Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
