I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
