do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he's gonorrhea incarnate
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
