i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
