Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize