I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
