I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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