Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
