Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I will be naked everywhere
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
