By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
