its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
