she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
