i permit you to call me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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