I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
