you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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