The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Damn victory sex feels great
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
