Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
where am i from again
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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