i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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