Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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