I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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