Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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