Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im holly from the hills drunk
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
