If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
