why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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