pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
