There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
