i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Randomize
