Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
