Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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