why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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