ugly people sure do ruin things
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
