No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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