i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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