It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had to cum in my sink.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
