he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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