Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
