Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
